Roughly a year ago, I boxed up my childhood and college combination of things, packed it away in a moving van, changed my address on all my subscriptions, said my goodbyes, and got on a plane alone to move transcontinentally across the United States. Roll your stereotype montage of “Finding Yourself” with that great moody playlist as I struggled to transplant myself in a new world on the busy East Coast life.
I will spare you the whole backstory of why I made the decision to move across the country, but suffice it to say, it was time for a change or new adventure. Again, there is something about removing yourself from the world you’ve been created in and that you have settled in. Hence the “finding yourself” stereotype characters you always see. But truly leaving your comfort zone and people and being surrounded with new places, experiences, and people evokes a reflection to turn more inwards and examine yourself. Or I am just in my fucking 20s.
Either way with the good, the bad, and the beautiful, I am very glad I made the move. And here is my honest take.
Moving sounds so romantic.
“Yah I am new, I just moved here.” “Show me around.” “I’ve never had this or been here before.”
And yes it is. There is a lot of beauty in being courageous enough to put yourself in new situations and places. However, many many days were not so romantic. Lost on the metro. Spending a birthday alone. Finding a gynecologist.
You spend a lot more time alone. If the goal of moving is to escape from something unsettling in yourself, your move won’t help. This seems like common sense, but I think it should be pointed out. I spent a lot of days solo exploring the new city I was in. I think this is a point that is beautifully the good and the bad. It gives you lot of time for self-exploration and the luxury to develop your own opinion of where you are and how you want to shape your experience. It also makes the social events that crowd many cities like eating out and drinking difficult to participate in.
Making friends as an adult is a lot harder. My job helped me establish some great relationships, however due to scheduling, it was difficult to rely only on these relationships for out-of-work activities. BUT there are actually so many resources online to help connect you though. I met my roommate on a housing site on Facebook. There’s countless interest groups on Facebook, Bumble BFF, and workout classes that are set up for people wanting to meet friends. I once made a friend and spent the rest of the day together by saving her from a guy hitting on her while we were waiting in line. Joining a sports league, volunteering, and honestly adopting a dog and taking them to a dog park will start a conversation with at least 5 people, I swear.
Transportation is so different from coast to coast. I grew up driving everywhere and did not live in a place where public transport was accessed hardly ever. Living in an East Coast city now, I do not even own a car. I will say this is also a pros-and-cons thing since I never have to worry about needing a designated driver, but I also would love a bit more freedom in taking myself where I want to go. I guess just do your research before hand and be prepared to be chronically lost for a couple months. Positive take is to call this exploring.
Seriously finding healthcare and personal care professionals can be rough. Do it anyway though, don’t be like me and wait until a problem comes up. God, adulting is hard.
Cultures are also different in every city. In the city I am now, museums and lots of parks are free and encouraged to visit. I absolutely adore partaking in this activity and honestly would probably not have been as interested in my hometown or college town. I have a new found appreciation in something and I think this is an indirect result of moving to a new place with a different culture.
Missing family and friend events doesn’t really get easier. This is pure honesty. I am a through and through independent girlie, but not being there on the important days really is difficult.
It also requires intentional effort dealing with distance to maintain relationships on both sides. Be okay with the growth and changes this can bring. Change is hard.
Cultivating a new home is refreshing. Back to the part about leaving the defined boundaries of the person you were created or chose to be. This creates a lot of room to make new decisions on who you want to surround yourself with, what person you want yourself to be, and what activities you want to do. If you move to a new place with an open mind, I really do think you have so so much to gain. Do find your support system though.
Collectively, this is my brief review subjected to just a little over a year of learning. But for what is worth, if you are finding yourself considering a change or new adventure of moving somewhere totally new, I will always be the girl who says you should do it. It comes with a lot of uncomfortable vulnerability, but it also opens up a lot of new opportunities. It is most definitely not easy, but in my opinion, most things that challenge you are worth it. Life is short, go live somewhere else for little bit.
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