Okay it has been established that solo traveling is a must. Big advocate here. My goal is to also just to be quite literal on the realities in solo traveling. As someone who frequently falls for the dreamy social media posts and videos, having general set expectations that aren’t all rose-colored makes traveling actually a lot more relaxed. Things will go wrong. Almost always and at least once. I have lost my passport solo traveling in Spain only 8 hours into being there while trying to check into my hostel. Though that was very much not ideal, I went paddle boarding at sunset instead of sitting in a room stressing. I’ve missed big international flights (an expensive snooze), but then I had the most incredible beach and sunset day. I’ve been lost more times than I can count, stranded without iPhone connection, made completely wrong reservations resulting in no lodging, lost my credit cards and luggage, and have been very ill requiring medical help without any insurance (oof). Yep, it is good fun to be my parents. God, I’ve even been fully locked in a Starbucks bathroom in Budapest with no phone for about an hour and no one nearby that spoke anything but Hungarian. Truly humbling. But these things happen, so let’s get real about solo traveling.
Ladies and gentlemen, KEY TAKEAWAY it is all about the mindset. Yes, insert, “For the plot,” “This is going to be a great story,” and “It could be worse.” Shoutout again to my dad for becoming a literal Voice Over in my head every time I want to have a bad attitude. All. About. The. Mindset. All these issues definitely needed to be worked out and dealt with, but taking them on with a more relaxed mindset helps so much. I could launch into a detailed synopsis of how I handled each situation and the solution, but that just truly doesn’t matter. Traveling is going to have lots of moments that things will go wrong. Accept it. To enjoy yourself solo traveling, you have to let go of needing to control the situation. This is absolutely, in my opinion, the most important piece to solo traveling. That is the most courageous part of the entire feat, giving up control in each situation. It is daunting as the unexpected always is. But this means, in giving that up, you create room to look for the excitement and hope in the unexpected things that come up. Again, here comes my father on loop in my mind, it is about the mindset. You can do it.
Get out of your comfort zone and meet people. This is probably the next most important thing on my list that goes in hand with accepting the unexpected. Social anxiety is real. Anyone who knows me, knows that outgoing would not be the first, second, or third word to describe me. I can be. With intentional effort. I am not predominately the story teller or comedian of the group, and I mostly tend to avoid any group attention. But every single time, I have pushed myself to walk up to strangers or join a conversation abroad, and I have only walked away with something valuable. Restaurant recommendations, friends, a good story, phone numbers of cute boys, you name it. I actually find myself more-so surrounded with people during my solo trips than not. If you keep an open mind, you absolutely will make friends. So challenge yourself, talk to strangers. It is not easy, but do it anyway.
“Go-with-the-flow.” Embrace the cliché surfer mindset. This attitude will absolutely make your trip much better. You will start to find small non-historic things, to be very exciting and the people you meet, more interesting than wherever you are in the world.
Notes for all the females. YOU CAN SAFELY SOLO TRAVEL. As you already know, the world makes you cautious, but it is possible to go new places alone and still be safe. I could write an entire post on this (and probably will), but it is all about being aware of your surroundings. Do a little bit of research before hand. Location is important here. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. Walk literally everywhere with confidence. Master a walking ~bitch~ face.
Eat alone. This one is the most challenging for me. Social anxiety seems to have a big appetite too. I often have to repeat this friendly reminder in my head, “Each person here is a lot more concerned with their own world and problems than mine right now, so stop thinking they care, they don’t. In the nicest possible way.” Eating in many cultures, including the United States, is a social event and being surrounded by people partaking in this, is uncomfortable. It is. But then cue the friendly reminder and settle in the experience of just enjoying your food and the atmosphere you are in. I have met people this way, talked to locals (who are often working at the restaurant), and had some great meals along the way. Some things that have helped with my anxiety: bringing books and reading, journaling while eating, or listening to music; eating somewhere where there is a view or something you look at; and when in doubt calling someone up and chatting with them.
Hostels. Spending money on an airbnb or hotel for one person is out of my twenty-something-year-old budget. Hostels are affordable, easy way to meet people, and in my experience, range in ages from 18 to 60. They are places where you are sleeping and living with strangers. Do your research, be safe, be respectful. But also embrace the experience. Bring your shower shoes. Throw it back to college dorm life. They are by far the most affordable housing option when solo. There is so much to say about hostels. But for now, biggest gem of advice, just look at the website, Hostel World, and read the reviews for a place.
If things go wrong, call your mom or best friend and freak out. Don’t call your dad for obvious reasons. There is nothing like a good 2 a.m. time difference phone call from someone abroad. Then take a deep breathe, you’ve got this. You made it all the way to a new place with new people. Tried new food. Stayed at a new place. Flew on a plane alone. You have dealt with scary shit. You can handle this. Evaluate the situation. Literally take things minute by minute and you’re going to be okay. Then laugh about this later.
Embrace the unexpected, humbling, and realness of solo traveling. It is still so so worth it and even if at times you don’t believe it that moment, then you’ll at least have some good stories for your Hinge profile or to pocket for one of those ice-breaker games.
*Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to any business or company listed. All reviews and opinions are based on my individual experiences and are subject to change.
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